tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post2549791305176175874..comments2024-03-16T00:21:43.240+00:00Comments on Separated by a Common Language: showerslynneguisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10171345732985610861noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-28836553592254294122020-08-07T16:53:46.862+01:002020-08-07T16:53:46.862+01:00BrE (Scot, late 60s) I feel very conflicted on thi...BrE (Scot, late 60s) I feel very conflicted on this one. In my place and time, wedding presents would be expected, but not really presents for a new baby. A christening was a church service, but with no associated party (godparents might come home for a cup of tea and a biscuit). I’ve always felt very uncomfortable about a wedding gift list. Having said that, we did give in to pressure from family and friends for a gift list for our own wedding “to make life easy for everyone”. But just a list of relatively inexpensive items (like a toaster: out old one had just died) typed up on my laptop, no dtore registry. Also, my wife and I ASK each other what we would like for Christmas/birthday/anniversary (supplemented by smaller surprise gifts). Like I said, I’m very conflicted.Shy-replyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01891566073375322808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-79162080483590285322010-11-16T22:31:54.538+00:002010-11-16T22:31:54.538+00:00Trivial point I suppose, but I'm slightly surp...Trivial point I suppose, but I'm slightly surprised not to see "gift" in bold labelled AmE or at least esp AmE with the BrE equivalent "present". It still feels pretty American to me.<br /><br />Incidentally, I rather like Johnny E's (hypothetical) idea of a separate wedding party to get the present-giving out of the way and "avoid cheapening the wedding day proper". You often don't get the chance to "give" them to the couple anyway, just leave them in a room as if handing over your coat or paying your entrance fee, to be opened later when you're not there.Harry Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01675794936870568336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-48124633582964463992009-03-05T15:18:00.000+00:002009-03-05T15:18:00.000+00:00Yes, it is in addition to...but the shower gifts a...Yes, it is in addition to...but the shower gifts are smaller (i.e. less expensive) than the wedding gifts. (For babies, the rules are less clear, I think.) Showers can be themed--e.g. 'kitchen shower--and then the gifts might be things like a nice set of (BrE) <B>tea towels</B> or some baking tins/pans--rather than the china or appliances that one would give for the wedding. Lingerie is another common shower gift--though getting less common these days, I think--so (arguably) a gift for the bride, rather than the couple.lynneguisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171345732985610861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-2609644494933024712009-03-05T15:07:00.000+00:002009-03-05T15:07:00.000+00:00Someone "Anonymous" commented on bridal showers ea...Someone "Anonymous" commented on bridal showers earlier, "I have to give a gift to celebrate the other time that I have to give a gift?" - Are they seriously in *addition* to wedding gifts? I'd always assumed Americans just had a separate party before the wedding at which the gift-giving part was done away with. If anything it seemed the opposite of crass, you give the presents at a fun little hen-nighty party so as to avoid cheapening the wedding day proper. But expecting two sets of gifts really *is* greedy!<BR/><BR/>It's just occurred to me, after mentioning hen nights, that possibly bridal shower gifts are... of a different tone to wedding gifts. That at least would explain sharing them away from prim relatives and small children...Johnny Ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02332149992788801634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-71241090247221257902008-10-29T15:07:00.000+00:002008-10-29T15:07:00.000+00:00The idea of wedding and baby showers began when ti...The idea of wedding and baby showers began when times were harder and it would be a serious struggle for a young couple to afford everything they needed to start a home or care for a baby. A few of the bride's/mother-to-be's close friends would throw a surprise party and "shower" her with a profusion of small useful presents.<BR/><BR/>Apparently it used to be common for friends to hold several showers before a wedding, each one set to a different theme. So you might have a "kitchen shower" (tea towels, utensils, aprons) followed a week or two later by a "linen shower", and perhaps later still by a "hosiery and handkerchief shower".<BR/><BR/>Part of the concept behind the shower is almost the idea of a whip-round: everybody contributes a little, and it adds up to a fair amount.<BR/><BR/>There's also a cultural implication. In the days when all young women expected to marry young and start a family soon afterwards, the entire circle of friends would all give and receive roughly equally over the space of a few years. Nowadays that doesn't hold true any more.<BR/><BR/>A traditional shower follows the same rules: It's for women only. It's a small party of close friends. It's supposed to be an informal surprise party (although usually some discreet hints are dropped, so the guest of honour will look her best). The presents are small useful things, though there may be many of them.<BR/><BR/>For a baby shower, typical presents would be nappies, bibs, bootees, rattles, etc. Big expensive stuff like pushchairs and furniture don't fall into the "shower" category.<BR/><BR/>Since a shower is a small select party anyway, and supposed to be informal and almost spur-of-the-moment, I can't imagine anyone feeling too left out at not being invited -- unless it's someone living nearby who considers herself one of the inner circle of best friends.<BR/><BR/>I grew up in the US and was dragged along to a few showers, as described above, at the age of about 10 or 12. (Very boring I found them too, even with the inclusion of party games and cake.) Whether the idea of a shower has grown bigger and more materialistic in recent times, or in some parts of the US, I can't say.<BR/><BR/>In my opinion, inviting someone to a shower is like inviting them to a birthday party. You don't invite anyone unless you expect them to come. Sending an invitation to someone who obviously can't come is tantamount to begging for a present. If you sincerely wish they could be there to share your happiness, but know it's not possible, then a brief phone call or note to that effect would be far more polite.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-80247703752502156192008-08-09T22:18:00.000+01:002008-08-09T22:18:00.000+01:00It's fairly common in this part of the U.S. (T...It's fairly common in this part of the U.S. (Texas & Oklahoma) to send invitations to people you'd sincerely like to have attend; even if you know they can't. Baby showers still tend to be for the close friends of the M2B, so it is likely they will send a gift if they can, whether or not they can attend. But a nicely written card is still just as good as a gift, and will be treasured long after the gift is gone and forgotten.<BR/><BR/>Wedding invitations can be more of a scattergun-type thing, sent to anybody (friend or family) you thing would be offended if not invited, even if you know they won't or can't come.<BR/><BR/>However the current trend of multiple baby showers simply to gather in more goodies is appallingly rude, and I can see where that would be distasteful to our overseas cousins. Thankfully, this trend has yet to take a firm hold in this area, and I hope the "gimmie" mindset is starting to fade away.<BR/><BR/>Karen J. in N. Texas<BR/><BR/>(A note about myself. Born and raised in Oklahoma and Texas, I've had the privilege of living and attending school in Belgium and Norway, as well as having traveled a fair bit in the U.K. and on the Continent. As such, I have enjoyed reading the blogs and accompanying comments since I found this a couple of days ago.)Karen Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08428934392785290269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-50849935997491250122008-08-06T23:24:00.000+01:002008-08-06T23:24:00.000+01:00I work at a weddings magazine in the U.S., and I f...I work at a weddings magazine in the U.S., and I field most of our readers' etiquette comments, so I can tell that even in America, people are split over the idea of whether to invite someone you are pretty sure can't attend.<BR/><BR/>There are definitely in-laws in Pittsburgh who would be greatly offended NOT to get an invite to the shower in Oregon. <BR/><BR/>And there are friends and cousins in Houston who forget that a present is NOT obligatory for a shower if you do not attend, and who think the new mom is greedy for allowing her shower hostess to invite them. (Bill is wrong; Miss Manners would say that you are NOT obligated to send a present to a shower or bday party you cannot attend--and he shldn't be throwing his own bday party anyway)<BR/><BR/>(there is debate about whether wedding invites MUST be met w/ a present, but most etiquette books say yes, agreeing w/ the Brits, as explained by Mrs. Redboots. And therefore, some cousins are insulted at being sent a WEDDING invite)<BR/><BR/>Also--hey, don't blame us *AMERICANS*. The most crass and materialistic and show-offy showers I have ever attended were made that way by the 1st-generation Yugoslavian immigrants whose family I married into!<BR/><BR/>In the middle American culture *I* was raised in, the shower is attended by only the guest of honors closest friends and relatives, the ones who are local (though the out-of-town parents & siblings & bestest of friends may get an invite, plus a call from the G.O.H., who says, "I know you can't come, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings by leaving you out"). The people who might actually be interested in giving TWO presents--because the shower present is not a substitute for a wedding present.<BR/><BR/>So, 20 people would be a pretty big shower.<BR/><BR/>And, showers in my regional culture (which may have changed in the last 18 years) didn't involve particularly expensive presents, either.<BR/><BR/>Showers also serve as a social event--a chance for those closest to gather w/ the G.O.H. and themselves for a bit of dedicated socializing at a highly emotional time.<BR/><BR/>But I disagree w/Bill when he says that Americans view a shower as an invitation to a party, and not an invitation to give a gift. I know other women who, upon hearing of a pregnancy or an engagement, begin to plan what to buy for the shower. I do, myself. <BR/><BR/>But I'm also "in the stream"--I benefitted from showers, and so I "pay it back" by giving to other showers for people I know.TootsNYChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08250160403913606481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-54830009070717213322008-08-06T19:14:00.000+01:002008-08-06T19:14:00.000+01:00And I think Emma's comment might really focus on t...And I think Emma's comment might really focus on the real difference.<BR/><BR/>Brits view an invite to a shower as an invitation to bring someone a gift.<BR/>Americans see the invite as an invitation to go to a party.<BR/><BR/>Another thing that occurred to me through thinking of this and other posts, is that a shower is often an opportunity/excuse for friends from all over the country to get together as well. From what I understand from this blog about UK friendships, they are often much closer and tighter, whereas in the US, friendships are scattered all over the place.<BR/><BR/>But I think that there is some fodder for another post somewhere about the multiple comments from the UKers saying that it is obvious that they would give a gift without some sort of gathering, whereas it seems a bit different in the US...but that set of hypotheses could go on forever.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-38432714429074740572008-08-01T15:10:00.000+01:002008-08-01T15:10:00.000+01:00Really interesting discussion! 24 year old UK fema...Really interesting discussion! 24 year old UK female here, and I have to say my feelings about baby showers are as expressed by most other non-Ams here (it's not just an age thing). <BR/><BR/>My boyfriend and I have been invited to his friend's baby shower, and we're both not that keen on the idea. Friend is actually Columbian (I'm not sure whether it's a widespread tradition there or not). I've only actually met this woman once, and my first thought, I have to admit, was "I resent being asked buy a present for someone I barely know". It's just not the way things are done! I'll happily buy for a wedding, or post birth of a good friend, but this just isn't seen as the same thing. <BR/><BR/>From what Americans say, I can see why they view these things very differently, and appreciate that baby showers work well in their original cultural context. It's a very difficult thing to transplant, though, since we don't have the same cultural understanding here. Giving a baby gift to a friend after the birth is normal (without being asked to do so), and I also share the feeling already expressed here that you shouldn't count your chickens before they've layed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-66854855261413449832008-07-30T13:33:00.000+01:002008-07-30T13:33:00.000+01:00I am an American working in the UK. My American fr...I am an American working in the UK. My American friends also living here informed me last weekend that they want to throw a baby shower for me and the little one due in October. Many of the people I work with are British (the rest come from the continent) and were not familiar with the idea of baby showers. When asked what they were, I explained that they were a chance for a group of women to gather together, chat, eat food and celebrate that I'm about to have a baby. I didn't mention gifts as the last thing I want to do is beg for gifts. We are only going to be in the UK for about a year after the birth and didn't want lots of gifts to send back to the States. I also didn't want to tell my friends that I didn't want a shower as I would like to have the social aspects of the shower.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03395433946383596838noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-4485428056832392842008-07-30T10:04:00.000+01:002008-07-30T10:04:00.000+01:00Robin, the point is that in the UK, we assume our ...Robin, the point is that in the UK, we assume our friends and family will give us presents for our wedding or new baby without having to have a party to remind them to do so. And if we were invited to such a party, we would assume we were expected to send a gift, even if we were unable to go, as, indeed, it is customary to send a wedding/Christening present if invited to a wedding or Christening, even if unable to attend.Mrs Redboots (Annabel Smyth)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11270027663691257254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-3692015466125737402008-07-29T21:38:00.000+01:002008-07-29T21:38:00.000+01:00And I HATED it when my belly was the topic of conv...And I HATED it when my belly was the topic of conversation (and lived in mortal fear that someone would uninvitedly try to TOUCH me). Made me feel like cattle.lynneguisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171345732985610861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-87356063989573571172008-07-29T20:42:00.000+01:002008-07-29T20:42:00.000+01:00Robin: That's why cultural differences can be such...Robin: That's why cultural differences can be such a minefield. It's not that the things you've mentioned would be considered crass to most British people (or at least me), but the holding of a party that has the main aim of collecting gifts. All those things will occur but not at the same time and not with the same people present in every case. Gift giving is far more a private exchange, rather than a public display, especially if the gift is expensive. Such activity could feel very uncomfortable for some people.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-33199727702909072762008-07-29T19:55:00.000+01:002008-07-29T19:55:00.000+01:00It's so strange to me that people would think a ba...It's so strange to me that people would think a baby shower was "crass." What's crass about a tradition where family and friends help soon-to-be new parents with the burdensome cost of getting all the stuff a new baby requires? Babies are expensive! And then the parents return the favor and buy gifts for friends and family as they have their first babies. It helps alleviate the financial burden that comes with being a new parent. Plus, you get to buy things for babies, discuss a hugely pregnant lady's round belly, and play silly games. What's not to like? And who wouldn't want to at least receive an invite (even if they couldn't come) so they know they are thought of?Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04807410189983092576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-41742511841930497442008-07-27T15:06:00.000+01:002008-07-27T15:06:00.000+01:00Firstly, thank you for writing this fascinating bl...Firstly, thank you for writing this fascinating blog! I check every couple of days or so to see whether you've updated.<BR/><BR/>Vaguely on the subject of showers, I'm a thirtysomething British woman, and about eight years or so ago a friend and I actually threw an 'American-style wedding shower' as a novelty for a friend (also British) who hated the idea of a boozy hen night. We looked up silly games on the web, and so on - I think we did the one where someone noted down what the bride said as she opened the presents and read it back as 'this is what S will say on her wedding night'.<BR/><BR/>We only invited people who were close enough that they would have bought the bride and groom an engagement present anyway, though - I don't think we'd have felt comfortable inviting people the bride knew less well to something where the price of admission was a small present.<BR/><BR/>Since then, showers seem to have got a bit more common, so I don't think I'd do it again. I'd worry that people thought I was being grasping, or that the bride was.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-70317592322404626162008-07-25T21:09:00.000+01:002008-07-25T21:09:00.000+01:00I've never really thought about whether churches p...I've never really thought about whether churches peal bells to celebrate the new year, but I did always assume that's what was meant by "ringing in the new year".<BR/><BR/>This is probably Catholic/Protestant thing, but churches near me peal bells for 17:00 Mass on Sat, 10:00 Mass on Sunday and Wedding Masses in addition to religious holidays. So it's occasional, just very frequent occasions. To be honest I can't recall ever hearing a Protestant church have bell that did anything but ring the hour except on TV or in movies.<BR/><BR/>On the baby shower issue... While I do understand the other side, I'm a bit amused that such an invitation would be taken so badly. For a baby shower my instinct would be to invite <B>all</B> family members (or at least all female ones) up to and including ones I know can't come and ones I don't particularly like. It is, after all, a family occasion. I wouldn't expect gifts from people who don't come, it's a way to say that (especially in my own family where there's a lot of divorce and remarriage and physical distance) these people are a part of my family and I love them and think of them.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02215839051185974104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-26419447083248990352008-07-25T15:02:00.000+01:002008-07-25T15:02:00.000+01:00As you can see from my spelling, Cameron, the main...As you can see from my spelling, Cameron, the main thing parents need is MORE SLEEP!lynneguisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171345732985610861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-44789665305087298242008-07-25T14:18:00.000+01:002008-07-25T14:18:00.000+01:00GUIDEparents! Fantastic word, Lynne! All these yea...GUIDEparents! Fantastic word, Lynne! All these years (nineteen of them so far) I've been calling myself my niece's godlessfather and now I KNOW what I am. Thank you so much for that.<BR/><BR/>Also, Lynne:<BR/>"things do need to be bought for babies before their born"<BR/><BR/>I don't think I had a born when I was a baby...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-46016547254425987932008-07-25T12:06:00.000+01:002008-07-25T12:06:00.000+01:00P.S. No, the English Puritans weren't time travell...P.S. No, the English Puritans weren't time travellers -- they banned the observance of Christmas between 1<B>6</B>47 (not 1947) and 1660.<BR/><BR/>Curses! (<-- Oh, and they banned that, too)Kevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10718209592445394736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-7612612600009027762008-07-25T12:01:00.000+01:002008-07-25T12:01:00.000+01:00>>New Year's being a non-religious holid...>>New Year's being a non-religious holiday, churches don't involve themselves<<<BR/><BR/>That sounds a <I>very</I> "Puritan" attitude, cat.! Not all that surprising really, though, I suppose, given the story of the Pilgrim Fathers and all that. At least they've stopped banning the celebration of Christmas (outlawed by the English Puritans between 1947 and 1660), I hope!<BR/><BR/>New Year may not be <I>formally</I> a Christian feast day in Europe (although New Year's Eve <I>is</I> Saint Sylvester's Day) but the churches generally do join in with the festivities. See the hymn<BR/><BR/><I>Ring out the old, ring in the new,<BR/>Ring, happy bells, across the snow;<BR/>The year is going, let him go;<BR/>Ring out the false, ring in the true.<BR/><BR/>Ring out the grief that saps the mind,<BR/>For those that here we see no more;<BR/>Ring out the feud of rich and poor,<BR/>Ring in redress to all mankind.<BR/><BR/>Ring in the valiant man and free,<BR/>The larger heart, the kindlier hand;<BR/>Ring out the darkness of the land --<BR/>Ring in the Christ that is to be.</I><BR/><BR/>(taken from Alfred, Lord Tennyson : <I>In Memoriam</I>)<BR/><BR/>Before I get into too much trouble for deviating yet again (Tangent ought to be my middle name), can I be allowed to point out the difference between AmE "New Year's" (stressed on the first syllable?) and BrE "New Year" (stressed on the second): we have New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, but the holiday itself is called New Year. In American films I hear people calling out "Happy NEW Year('s)" -- here, it's "Happy New YEAR". <BR/><BR/>Happy Saint James's Day (25 July), everybody!Kevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10718209592445394736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-775680958092480672008-07-25T08:07:00.000+01:002008-07-25T08:07:00.000+01:00I wonder if "ring in" is an extension of ringing t...I wonder if "ring in" is an extension of ringing things in on a cash register--thus making it a very crass exercise. Saying that, as an American and because it is an accepted part of American culture, baby showers are fine with me. The shower is the point at which I would plan to give a gift.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-76570594236155216092008-07-25T03:10:00.000+01:002008-07-25T03:10:00.000+01:00I was struck by your line I was happy to give the ...I was struck by your line <I>I was happy to give the US addresses, but hemmed and hawed about the UK ones.</I> As a Nepali-speaking American (learned in Peace Corps), I've taken US friends trekking in the Himalayas and occasionally found myself in a similar position where they asked me to do something that required Nepali but which I just couldn't bring myself to do because it felt wrong to me in Nepali culture. Unfortunately, I can rarely explain quickly and precisely why: it's usually just a strong gut feeling. Quite awkward all around.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-14381234026354123582008-07-25T02:59:00.000+01:002008-07-25T02:59:00.000+01:00Kevin: I really ought to have said that I believe...Kevin: I really ought to have said that I believe the expression is 'ring in the New Year.' No one I know uses this expression to mean actual bell-ringing. It's more a leftover phrase meaning nothing but "Greet" only fancier.<BR/><BR/>And around here, in the midwestern U.S., we don't ring in the New Year with church bells. There are churches in my smallish city with carillons but they only 'peal' them on Easter morning and a few other times of the year. New Year's being a non-religious holiday, churches don't involve themselves (the churches that I'm thinking of in my town, especially!).<BR/><BR/>I hope this makes sense--I'm feeling a little late-in-the-day-ish.<BR/><BR/>Also, yes, as lynne says, this is an odd phrase for "calling in", but we Americans are odd in our phrasing so often! :-)Cat.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16596358921357615801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-43397440886440244602008-07-24T23:42:00.000+01:002008-07-24T23:42:00.000+01:00A few quick comments:nineveh-uk said "Asking for p...A few quick comments:<BR/><BR/>nineveh-uk said "Asking for presents for oneself is vulgar. Asking for presents for a baby that isn’t yet born is tempting fate." In case this is what you meant, we should be clear here that one does not throw a baby shower for oneself--it's always a friend or relative who throws it for the expectant mother (and, these days, often for both parents). However, since these days people's social circles are often loosely intersecting rather than small and tight, it usually involves the collusion of the expectant mother to sort out the guest list. And since people are getting more particular and consumerist about their baby-having, these days they often involve a registry for the baby gifts (i.e. this is the type of car seat we want, these are the colo(u)rs of the baby's room, etc.). <BR/><BR/>I wouldn't allow anything to be bought for Grover until I was well into the 3rd trimester--which was a problem, since I didn't have much of a 3rd trimester, so we had a baby and no where to put her and no clothes to put her in (not that we would have bought 'early baby' size clothes if we had had the chance to go out shopping). But the fact of the matter is that things do need to be bought for babies before their born, and the tradition arose because young couples were usually short on cash. So, it's a nice tradition in a lot of ways, but the consumerist take-over of nearly everything in American life makes it a bit sadder.<BR/><BR/>Cat., I don't see "ring in the New Year" as the same sense of 'ring in' here. The new year is not being called by the ringing, but greeted with the ringing. But maybe that's just the way I see it.<BR/><BR/>bill, thanks for doing the heavy lifting on the matter of 'why Americans do this'. I think you're spot-on (which strikes me as a more BrE than AmE thing to say, but maybe it's just because I'm hearing it in my head with BrE vowels). The other bit of the matter is the lack of the superstition that's been noted by some of the BrE speakers here. Americans are naturally optimistic, so don't feel they're tempting fate by having a baby shower.<BR/><BR/>On the other hand, none of the Americans I know would dream of letting others know they're pregnant before the first trimester is over and there's a very good chance of it going well. I've had two BrE speakers tell me of their weeks-old pregnancies in the last few weeks and I wanted to say "NOOOO! Don't tell me! That's really bad luck!" This may have a bit more to do with the fact that my American friends are my age, and we know we can't trust a pregnancy to take hold, but then one of the Englishwomen who gave me such early news is the same age as me (and due any day now).<BR/><BR/>Cameron said "I was once invited to a baby shower by an American friend in Munich (although she termed it a "baby party") and she made it clear that she saw it as the equivalent of a christening, she being an Atheist. I love that idea; celebrate the beginning of a new life." That wasn't a baby shower, Cameron, as such things only happen before the baby is born. What you seem to be describing is closer to a naming party, which are more common in the UK/Europe in my experience than in America (where religion is more popular). We had a naming ceremony and cream tea for Grover (with "please, no gifts" on the invitations, though grandparents and guideparents--our Humanist version of godparents--couldn't resist the gift-giving opportunity). <BR/><BR/>Rickard's theory re the exclusivity of grandparent status is interesting--I think there may be more than a grain of truth to it. The use of the notion of exclusivity is much more widespread in British culture than in American, and I can see that grandparent thing contrasting a bit in the two sides of our family. Maybe.lynneguisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171345732985610861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-86379260522429260162008-07-24T22:56:00.000+01:002008-07-24T22:56:00.000+01:00Thanks for the explanation, jack. Bells ringing on...Thanks for the explanation, jack. Bells ringing on the hour, though, is what we Rightpondians would call "chiming" (e.g. the chimes of Big Ben). "Ringing in the New Year" involves "pealing" the bells in what is known as "change ringing". An example of bellringers at work <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROO0nNJWt0I" REL="nofollow">here</A>; and another, specifically on New Year's Eve <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9q4wceaqGA" REL="nofollow">here</A>. On the mainland of Europe, bellringing is different (far more "anarchic") but still a "joyous noise" in its own right: see <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXqJJ-oZluk" REL="nofollow">here</A>. Personally, I love the continental Sunday-morning "blam blam": it tells me I'm on holiday!Kevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10718209592445394736noreply@blogger.com