tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post2833853428024249702..comments2024-03-16T00:21:43.240+00:00Comments on Separated by a Common Language: telling the difference between American and British motherslynneguisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10171345732985610861noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-21108283489355987692009-06-07T05:48:58.826+01:002009-06-07T05:48:58.826+01:00My response to a toddler falling down is neither o...My response to a toddler falling down is neither of the above, but "Boom!" with great enthusiasm, as if the child had fallen down as part of a game. Most of the time the kid laughs rather than crying.John Cowanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11452247999156925669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-26173363081217269502009-04-30T15:31:00.000+01:002009-04-30T15:31:00.000+01:00http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/30/opinion/30iht-ed...http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/30/opinion/30iht-edcohen.html?_r=1&emAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-55867616443329764152009-03-30T05:43:00.000+01:002009-03-30T05:43:00.000+01:00I definitely think that "Well done" sounds more Br...I definitely think that "Well done" sounds more British. In fact, as I read the post and the comments, I found myself imagining the phrase "well done" with a British accent. (I also do this with the menu at Outback Steak House, only that I read in imaginary Australian).<BR/><BR/>As for the stiff-upper-lip versus overly fussy attitudes towards children's boo-boos, I wonder if that has more to do with someone's experience level. Most parents tend to be overly cautious with the first child and tend to relax as they gain more parental experience. I know in my (American) family, if you fell down, you got laughed at--which is how I react to people falling down today (especially at myself). Though, I'm not sure who gets more offended when I laugh, the stiff-upper-lippers or the overly-fussed-overers.Vanessanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-90598240260860807872009-03-19T21:12:00.000+00:002009-03-19T21:12:00.000+00:00I'm a Brit and I remember when I was a small child...I'm a Brit and I remember when I was a small child in the 50's, my mum would say when I was potty training, that doing a pooh was a "big job" or a "good job". I've also heard Billy Connelly talk about a "wee jobbie" or a "big jobbie" - meaning the same thing.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps that's why we Brits are loath to say "Good Job"!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02180388546658785803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-31777069709800400692009-03-19T00:38:00.000+00:002009-03-19T00:38:00.000+00:00LOVE the steak story!I think I'm an outlier to bot...LOVE the steak story!<BR/><BR/>I think I'm an outlier to both camps, preferring "Way to go!" and "Good one!" to either "Good job" or "Well done," but I accept them both as reasonable things to say.<BR/><BR/>I think Canadians are usually in the middle this way, between our British origins and American neighbours. To me a nursery is a place you go to buy landscaping plants, but I will say 'tree nursery' or the like if necessary to avoid confusion with the neonatal department at a hospital or the kids' room in a British novel. I don't think it would occur to me that a daycare was a nursery. Although it might be a 'nursery school.'Aviatrixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13634111275860140084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-5777187356073875602009-03-18T19:21:00.000+00:002009-03-18T19:21:00.000+00:00I was attending an american football game in Arizo...<B>I was attending an american football game in Arizona and was irritated to learn that grilling in the parking lot ("tailgating", we Americans call it) was banned at this particular facility.</B><BR/><BR/><B> On the way into the game we passed a few Mexican guys (not Mexican-American, as will soon become apparent) recklessly grilling their sticks behind their truck. Wanting to applaud their disregard for an unjust law (though they were probably simply unaware of it), I gave them a thumbs up and a hearty "well done!", which I now realize I had started using, even though I'm American, probably because I'm an anglophile and watch a lot of British TV shows.</B> <BR/><BR/><B>The griller looked at me, confused, and turned to his friend and asked what I correctly assumed to be "What did he say?" My Cuban-American friend told me the reply was "He said you should cook you're steak all the way through."</B>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-34223291930268647052009-03-13T14:51:00.000+00:002009-03-13T14:51:00.000+00:00Well, from an even older witness:"Attaboy!" hardly...Well, from an even older witness:<BR/><BR/>"Attaboy!" hardly exists for me, except as the expression which "Attagirl" is somehow referring to. Because "Attagirl!", having that 50s flavour, also conjures up a brave lass doing something un-lass-like ... and muttering "Attagirl!" to herself as she does it.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps the heroine of a Michael Innes detective novel, trapped in the villain's cellar, brushing the spiders' webs away from her pretty face, levering at the windowbars with a chairleg, and saying "Attagirl!" to herself as she pluckily calms her feminine nerves.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-29098000370920540302009-03-13T11:16:00.000+00:002009-03-13T11:16:00.000+00:00Just a quick follow-up on attagirl/attaboy. I trie...Just a quick follow-up on <B>attagirl/attaboy</B>. I tried this on a colleague who's <I>even older</I> than me and she had, instantly, the same reaction - she thinks of it as 50s-or-earlier, US-flavo[u]red, etc. OK it's not statistically significant just yet but it is a stunning 100% agreement rate! Now it would be nice to know if there's any agreement outside the academic common rooms of EC1 ... :)Strawberryyoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01088158170872265875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-41808123653769356832009-03-12T14:54:00.000+00:002009-03-12T14:54:00.000+00:00... including "Clever boy!" ... to a dog ...... including "Clever boy!" ... to a dog ...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-21402687242811432582009-03-12T12:12:00.000+00:002009-03-12T12:12:00.000+00:00We've already covered the smart/clever thing back ...We've already covered the smart/clever thing back <A HREF="http://separatedbyacommonlanguage.blogspot.com/2006/08/clever-and-smart.html" REL="nofollow">here</A>.lynneguisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171345732985610861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-18370064739402650202009-03-12T02:24:00.000+00:002009-03-12T02:24:00.000+00:00Interesting about "Clever girl!"An Australian frie...Interesting about "Clever girl!"<BR/><BR/>An Australian friend in the US, whose children were in the school system (mine weren't at that point, as they were too young) mentioned that she thought Americans and Australians (don't know where the UK would fit in with this following example) used "clever" and "smart" in different ways.<BR/><BR/>In Australia, it would be a normal, and complimentary, thing to say to a child who has done something well, "Aren't you clever?" My friend had found that her American acquaintances would use "smart" instead of "clever" in that context. Conversely, while Australians will often use "smart" in a somewhat less complimentary sense (as in, if a child is being cheeky to the point of rudeness, you might say "Don't get smart with me!), she had found that "clever" was more likely to be used in this context by her American acquaintances. (Did that make sense? The implication being that, if Australian, it is much better to be clever than smart, but the opposite in the USA!)Mrs Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05655632448285928588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-61178071377400475092009-03-11T20:49:00.000+00:002009-03-11T20:49:00.000+00:00I think my mother-in-law says 'clever girl', but B...I think my mother-in-law says 'clever girl', but Better Half never does and I don't recall hearing it at any baby gatherings from other parents. So possibly a generational difference?lynneguisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171345732985610861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-6657872145831558692009-03-11T20:36:00.000+00:002009-03-11T20:36:00.000+00:00Does nobody say "Clever girl!" or "Clever boy!" wh...Does nobody say "Clever girl!" or "Clever boy!" which is what I think I would have said to my children when they were very young? "Well done!" came when they were older, I think.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-7799008584045696212009-03-11T13:57:00.000+00:002009-03-11T13:57:00.000+00:00Ah yes, attagirl! (I never get to say attaboy due ...Ah yes, <B>attagirl!</B> (I never get to say attaboy due to the gender-consistency of my kids.) That's an interesting one - when I say it, as I like occasionally to do, I think I am being, er, self-consciously jokey/anachronistic as it sounds <I>old</I> to me. Maybe even, er, self-consciously jokey/pretend-American/anachronistic in fact - it has that slight feeling to me too, I think. Not recent-American like "can I get" <I>(gah!)</I> but older-American, say like calling someone "buddy". It feels perhaps like an affectionate-Americanism-usage with maybe a hint of the 50s or WWII about it, or something. How odd (and fun) that that one word has triggered such a chain of feelings for me to try and trace back!Strawberryyoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01088158170872265875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-4119661960792160412009-03-10T00:05:00.000+00:002009-03-10T00:05:00.000+00:00It is so true. And, as an American mother, I autom...It is so true. And, as an American mother, I automatically say "good job" but really think "well done" is a more accurate thing to say as the child isn't doing a job in most cases.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-24047912522491470322009-03-09T18:03:00.000+00:002009-03-09T18:03:00.000+00:00I think the "stiff upper lip" mothers, of whatever...I think the "stiff upper lip" mothers, of whatever nationality, probably know that if you pretend not to have seen a child fall over, chances are it won't make a fuss....Mrs Redboots (Annabel Smyth)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11270027663691257254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-23487860922632976662009-03-09T16:22:00.000+00:002009-03-09T16:22:00.000+00:00To those who are asking how new the expression "go...To those who are asking how new the expression "good job" is, I'm 30 and I definitely heard "good job" growing up. "There you go" and "atta girl/boy" sound dated to my ears. "Way to go" I heard a bit more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-52788544991512151802009-03-09T15:01:00.000+00:002009-03-09T15:01:00.000+00:00I think we need to be a little careful here with t...I think we need to be a little careful here with those kinds of generalizations. My American family is very much of the 'you're fine' variety. (In fact, the last and worst time my heart was broken, my mother's response was "Stiff upper lip!") Better Half's British family (well, at least he and his mother) are very much of the "Oh, poor baby! Let me give you a cuddle!" school--though BH is learning better through my excellent tuition. :P<BR/><BR/>There's a lot of scope here for individual, class and regional differences. (Not to mention generational, but it tends to be one generation having babies at a time!)lynneguisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171345732985610861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-70351351909860934142009-03-09T14:37:00.000+00:002009-03-09T14:37:00.000+00:00Sitting in the park the other day (in the US) I wa...Sitting in the park the other day (in the US) I was thinking about this very difference, as another British mother's child fell over. He was a little shaken but not too bad, which is just as well as she didn't make a move to help him, merely saying "You're fine, you're fine. Come on get up." I was the only mom who didn't feel like making a call to Family Services, however, he really was fine and just toddled off to play again. (The American mom, in my experience, would have been much more solicitous, probably wiping the hand and applying multiple kisses.) No wonder we have a stiff upper lip.Expat mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-62603669148715607082009-03-08T16:54:00.000+00:002009-03-08T16:54:00.000+00:00Another BrE expression I used today without thinki...Another BrE expression I used today without thinking about it, and then stopped to wonder whether it was used in the USA is "Good for you!", meaning, basically, "Well done you", or "Good for him/her!" if someone is telling you about someone's having done something that needs applause.Mrs Redboots (Annabel Smyth)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11270027663691257254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-72558316192706294552009-03-08T11:33:00.000+00:002009-03-08T11:33:00.000+00:00Let me add my question to Anonymous' above: is "go...Let me add my question to Anonymous' above: is "good job" (as praise for children) new? I grew up in the US in the 1960s-70s and never heard it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-29452606650576710822009-03-06T12:10:00.000+00:002009-03-06T12:10:00.000+00:00@ros: this has come up before, but the name of our...@ros: this has come up before, but the name of our childcare facility is the University Creche. 'Nursery' there only refers to the part for the oldest [preschool] children.lynneguisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171345732985610861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-22141277519653389052009-03-06T10:22:00.000+00:002009-03-06T10:22:00.000+00:00Mrs Redboots, (first anon here) I did figure out f...Mrs Redboots, (first anon here) I did figure out from their tone that "bad luck" was short for "that's bad luck" or "you've had bad luck", but with my response, "too bad", I started wondering whether they thought I was accusing them of playing badly.<BR/> On the praise side, I don't think I say "good job" very often--is it relatively new? I think I said things like "there you go," "way to go," and "atta girl/boy" to my children when they were smaller. And I'm not <I>that</I> old.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-86634846061769248982009-03-06T00:07:00.000+00:002009-03-06T00:07:00.000+00:00I do not have small children so I may be wrong in ...I do not have small children so I may be wrong in this, but I wouldn't have used the word creche for the regular childcare facility you are describing. I'd call that a nursery. A creche would be something more informal, often set up to run during a specific event. Which, oddly, is what my American friends called the nursery.Roshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02669423378438380019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28787909.post-31661708030192484382009-03-05T21:35:00.000+00:002009-03-05T21:35:00.000+00:00I wonder if the American moms are at least three t...I wonder if the American moms are at least three times as effusive as the British mums while expressing their pride? About 30 years ago I tried to follow the 'Toilet Training in Less than a Day' regimen in the USA, but realised that I (Brit) didn't have the stamina for the highly demonstrative praise that I should have been expressing at every use of the potty. She did learn to use it eventually...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com