Today's book is Britannia in Brief: The Scoop on All Things British by Leslie Banker and William Mullins (Ballantine, 2009), an American wife and British husband team. In other words, here's the book that Better Half and I could have written if we'd thought of it first and weren't so gloriously behind schedule with everything else in our lives--like the laundry. Especially the laundry.
The book does what it says on its label: it is a sort of (AmE) Cliff Notes/(BrE) York Notes for Americans wanting to (orig. AmE) bone up on Britain. The chapters cover the geography and history, social structures, arts and culture, politics and government, food and drink, language and daily practicalities of UK life. Having been here 10 years, I didn't learn a lot reading this book--but, boy, if I'd had it 10 years ago, it would have saved a lot of people a lot of explaining. When I first sat down with the book, I tested it by looking up the things that I thought should be in it. Blue Peter? (AmE) check/(BrE) tick. Newspaper slants and allegiances? √ The 1966 World Cup? √ Jeffrey Archer? √ It passed all of my tests but one...but we'll get back to that.
The parts I found most helpful (as a long-standing resident) were in the first chapter--though I'm sure that newer arrivals will find the quotidian and cultural aspects the most immediately gratifying. The section entitled 'Snapshots of British History' starts with Julius Caesar and end with the 7/7 bombings of 2005, filling in enough details on the Glorious Revolution, the Battle of Britain and the Falklands War to give an American a sense of what these things were about. The longer section on Northern Ireland similarly outlines the Troubles and gives the sage advice that "it's better not to express any opinions on the matter of Northern Ireland unless explicitly asked. [...] All in all, it's just better to say that you hope things work out."
What about the bits on language? While there is a chapter on language, there's plenty of vocabulary information throughout the book, including a very useful two-page list of acronyms toward(s) the end. (There's also a two-page glossary, which hits some important words, but whether it includes the one you'll need to look up--well, that's another matter.) The language chapter provides some names whose pronunciation needs explanation (e.g. Leicester = "lester", Berkeley = "barclay") and an introduction to Cockney Rhyming Slang. These are followed by a couple of zesty sections on words with 'dirty' meanings in BrE (but not in AmE) and ratings of how offensive "swear words" are--with handy thermometer graphics. A section on the Welsh language serves the authors' obsession with the alleged lack of vowels in Welsh. (I lost count of how many times 'unpronounceable' and 'Welsh' co-occured in the other chapters.) For the record, Welsh has plenty of vowels, it just spells them with different letters than the English use. I didn't always agree with their list of 'prevalent British names rarely heard in the US'--sometimes because I thought the names weren't particularly prevalent in the UK, but mostly because they left Nicola off the girls' list. But these are minor points.
The book ends with a quiz that should probably replace the UK Citizenship test, since it tests things that UK citizens generally know, like the name of the pub on Coronation Street and who Brenda and Phil the Greek are (unlike the real test, whose questions native-born citizens typically fail).
The book is terrifically up-to-date, which does mean it'll become outdated all the faster. And this may be its failing in the one section that I found really wanting: the 'British comic gems you may be less familiar with'. Appropriately, this starts with the Carry On films. But it then hops on to Monty Python--which (a) is not something anyone is less familiar with (as they acknowledge), and (b) overshoots The Goon Show (and particularly Spike Milligan), which was one of the first things I tried to look up in the book (and one of the greatest influences on Python). The other comedians listed are all currently practicing, and some of them have crossed the pond rather often. Rather than Steve Coogan and Catherine Tate (whom I'd run into soon enough if I were a [orig. AmE] newbie to Britain), I would have liked to have read about the Goons, Tony Hancock, the Two Ronnies and Morecambe & Wise--the types of comedians who influenced later ones and whose presence is still felt--albeit a little more obliquely than the Coogans and Tates--in the culture. In other words, with such a rich comedic history, it's a shame to have so much focus on the present.
But that's one section of one chapter in an otherwise surprisingly comprehensive book. The authors have shown a real knack for getting to the heart of Britishness and presenting it in bite-size helpings. I'd heartily recommend this book for any (North) American who:
- is about to embark on a year abroad/work placement/move to the UK
- is going to visit people in Britain
- is in love with someone in Britain
- is slightly obsessive about Britain
Posts
I hope this is clean-ish enough:
ReplyDeleteThere once was a Yank called Randy
Whose stick-shift was all fine and dandy
He once slashed his knickers
When playing with stickers
After eating a pastie with Shandy
Don't forget to email me your contact details, in case you're the winner!
ReplyDeleteThere was a young lady called Annie
ReplyDeleteAshamed of the size of her fanny
She said, "Doctor, reduce it.
I just want to lose it."
And now she's completely sans cranny.
Jimmie's limerick definitely passes the cultural misunderstanding test for me. I don't know what playing with stickers is and I can't get the punch line.
ReplyDeleteJimmie's limerick definitely passes the cultural misunderstanding test for me. I don't know what playing with stickers is and I can't get the punch line.
ReplyDeleteA British friend once asked for advice,
ReplyDeleteSince I'd traveled to Egypt. (It's nice!)
She asked what I wore,
So's not to look like a whore,
"Oh, a t-shirt and pants will suffice."
(True story-- she looked shocked, I hastily corrected myself, "TROUSERS!!" and we had a good laugh.)
There was a young Anglican miss
ReplyDeleteWho liked to go out on the piss
She wasn’t a slag
But she liked a quick fag
And, sometimes, a decorous kiss.
Do note that the requirement is for something that 'illustrates' a cross-cultural misunderstanding--not just something that's not understandable to the other group! I'd say some of these qualify, and some don't!
ReplyDeleteI just read this too and found the harping about Welsh language to be obnoxious. I counted "unpronounceable" at least 2-3 times, and kept thinking, "well, YOU just don't know how to pronounce it, the Welsh actually do!"
ReplyDeleteAt the Stratford B&B
ReplyDeleteA Derbyshire man name of Joe
(The wick in his head burning low)
Asked me, "Baby, wassup?
Could I please knock you up?"
And I overslept, 'cause I said no.
An American tourist named Barbie
ReplyDeleteFound herself in the high street in Derby.
She said, "Do you by chance
have some nice khaki pants?"
Said the clerk to himself, "Is she barmy?"
Not to bothered about the prize, but here's my pathetic effort.
ReplyDeleteA Briton upbraided a yank,
For rudely failing to thank,
"Why don't you say 'cheers'?"
"We don't have any beers!"
"Oh what a load of old rubbish."
Jimmie Riddle. Lmao.
ReplyDeleteAn eager young Yank on the make
ReplyDeleteThought he'd finally had his big break.
She asked for a rubber
but she wasn't a scrubber.
Just had to erase a mistake.
"I'll arrive there at noon 7/6"
ReplyDeleteI told my Yank friend from the sticks.
But I got there too soon -
On the seventh of June -
Since for him 7/6 was July sixth.
Richard English
Said the driver, who'd stopped at the quarry,
ReplyDelete"I'm sorry I just parked my lorry.
I needed a drag
So I stopped for a fag.
If I've broken the law then I'm sorry".
Richard English
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete"A pint please, and make it Imperial,
ReplyDeleteA size that is quite magisterial.
The American measure
Will give one less pleasure -
So small it is almost ethereal"
Richard English
"Straight on, Mac. They're on the first floor"
ReplyDeleteSaid the bellhop, just inside the door.
So I climbed up the stair
To find nobody there -
For the first floor's the ground - what a bore!
Richard English
At the party, Jo started to flag
ReplyDeleteHe said, could I bum a fag?
I’m rat-arsed and pissed
And my girlfriend’s been dissed
By a muppet who thinks she’s a wag.
Contestants may find this excellent and humorous reference to be helpful--The English to American Dictionary:
ReplyDeletehttp://septicscompanion.com/index.php
In the tradition of limericks that are deliberately incomplete (young man from Verdun and so forth) how about:
ReplyDelete"This limerick must quickly be written!"
Said the visiting member from Britain.
So in need of more minds
He tabled four lines -
(Email address is on sidebar of blog.)
My girl has a fine pair of hooters
ReplyDeleteAttractive to gentleman suitors.
But don't rush too far
They're both on her car
And she toots them to warn slow commuters.
Oh, sorry, that was another one from me, Richard English
ReplyDelete"This limerick must quickly be written!"
ReplyDeleteSaid the visiting member from Britain.
So in need of more minds
He tabled four lines -
coaxing a fifth from one smitten
A limerick’s easy to write
ReplyDeleteBut the sentiments, they may be trite
The form is too rigid
It makes you look frigid
And I’ve run out of space to say anything insightful about the differences between UK and US idiomatic usage. Sorry! Or should I say, Excuse me?
My friends are from Texas and Crewe
ReplyDeleteOne said "half four" for our rendezvous
The other said "wait!
Why not quarter of eight?"
We ended up meeting at two.
Coming late to the party...
ReplyDeleteA Brit said, "There's nothing more tasty
Than sampling a savoury pasty."
"Good grief," thought a Yank.
"In a strip club so swank,
You'd get punched for a caper that hasty!"
Context: http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=337
OK, Ben, but you do reali{s/z?e line 2 doesn't rhyme with 1 and 5? At least not if the Brit said it!
ReplyDeleteA horny young Briton named Doug,
ReplyDeleteGave my well-tailored shirttail a tug.
"Would it make you gag,
If I asked for a shag?"
I said, "No," and I gave him a rug.
A drunken solicitor, Dick
ReplyDeleteWent looking for Tom, drove too quick
He crashed his sedan
On a sleeping policeman
And ended up in the Nick
At the risk of trying too hard, here is Randy mark 2:
ReplyDeleteThe American said, I'm Randy
My stick-shift is just fine and dandy!
The Brit said, I'm fagged,
exquisitely shagged,
After eating a pastie with Shandy.
Laundry is highly overrated. Buy more. Especially socks.
ReplyDeleteRegarding lynneguist's comment on Ben's: eye rhyme! eye rhyme! By the way, I love this blog, although I'm not a native speaker of English.
ReplyDeleteA bloke offered baby a dummy,
ReplyDeleteWhich annoyed her American mummy.
The mom started a row
‘Cause she didn’t know
It’s a pacifier for her honey.
Roger, doesn't "row" rhyme with "now?"
ReplyDeleteKel - In Northeast US, row rhymes with sew or no or doe or low.
ReplyDeleteI'm a native Californian.
ReplyDeleteRow (fight) rhymes with now and plow, but in my experience it is a word that is rarely, if ever, used in the U.S.
Row (pretty maids all in a ...) rhymes with know/sew/blow.
I remember from waaaay back in the day that homonyms are words that sound the same but are spelled differently. What do they call words that are spelled the same but pronounced differently?
-----"What do they call words that are spelled the same but pronounced differently?"------
ReplyDeleteHomographs
Homographs! Thank you. It makes perfect sense that that is what they would be called.
ReplyDeleteJane !!
ReplyDeletewhat are the next lines of your story??